8 Big Relationship Do's and Don’ts

I'm just going through and read some motivational blog.. and i found this. Quite interesting tips to share with all of you.. 

We should try to improve our self, right? Even it may take quite a long time to practice a good habit, we should try to change for better future..

This is the article by Dr.Carmen Harra:

                  8 Big Relationship Dos and Don’ts

As a psychologist and relationship counselor for over 25 years, I speak from experience when I say there’s more to the art of love than we can imagine: people are complex, riddled with flaws and deep desires, desperately seeking to be understood. Yet human beings also hold an incredible capacity to give love if they’re shown the right kind of love. Our goal in a relationship should be to help our partner release this abundance of love to experience a fulfilling relationship.

What I see happening more often, however, is that people continue to make the same mistakes in their relationships and expect different results. What’s worse is that their insecurities and negative tendencies lead them to act in ways that destroy what could be a perfectly healthy relationship. Different partners draw out of us different emotions — some we didn’t even know we had — and sustaining a relationship becomes tedious from both ends. But we must ensure that at least we’re doing our part. So how do we navigate it through it all and improve the quality of our love? Practice these 8 relationship dos and don’ts to fortify your romance with harmony, stability, and joy:

Do develop emotional intimacy: 

Many couples live together physically but live apart emotionally. Emotional intimacy is knowing what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask. It is picking up on their feelings as if they were your own. Develop a sense of emotional intimacy by being honest with your partner and sensitive to their needs.

Do plan a life together: 

Our plans may not always work out, but envisioning a future with our partner inspires us to take the right steps towards manifesting our long-term goals. Talk about the years ahead and form a strategy to achieve the things you want together: a home, a family, investments, etc.

Do bring them comfort: 

Your partner wants to come home to love, not to a headache. Make your home a place that always reels your partner back because they feel safe, stable, and nurtured. Don’t start talking about your problems as soon as your partner walks through the door. The bills, the job, the argument you just had this morning—these things can wait until the atmosphere is calm and appropriate for such a conversation. 

Do act in the right time:

Time can be your biggest enemy or your best friend. At any given moment, time is either on your side or against you. The wisdom is to recognize when you should act versus when you should wait. If you listen to your inner voice, you can decipher the different tides of time. Don’t obligate your partner to do things in a certain amount of time, like pushing them to get married within a year. This is your notion of time, not theirs. Do take the big step forward when you’re both in complete agreement, even if it takes a bit longer than you’d like.


Don’t play on their weaknesses: 

Every day, you have the choice to play on your partner’s weaknesses or to reiterate their strengths. If you constantly bring up what they’re doing wrong, they’ll never feel motivated to do anything right. No relationship can improve under such negative energy. There are gentle ways to get your partner to understand what they should be doing differently, and constantly scolding them is not one of these methods.

Don’t get even: 

No matter what your partner has done or however they’ve wronged you in the past, don’t retaliate or act in bad faith. Keep your personal karma clean by always treating the other person the way you’d like to be treated, regardless of the way they behave towards you. This is your duty to yourself and not to anyone else. Remember: the way others treat you is their karma but the way you respond is your karma.

Don’t assume or blow things out of proportion: 

Before you throw a tantrum, sit and reflect logically: Is it really as bad as I assume? Speak to your partner openly about what’s bothering you instead of blowing up on them. Many times we amplify the severity of a situation out of our fears and insecurities, when in reality it’s not what we think at all. Before assuming things that might be false, ask yourself if it’s really worth jeopardizing the relationship.

Don’t act out of desperation: 

Think through your decisions a thousand times before you act on them. Acting on desperation will only yield more desperation. If you’re desperate to get your partner to change, don’t threaten to break up with them when in reality it’s the last thing you want to do. If they agree to break up, you’ll feel even worse. Let your feelings to settle down before approaching them with any issue. Always try to see the logic behind escalated emotions.

Love relationships are undoubtedly difficult to maintain if we don’t consider the steps to uphold a positive dynamic. Take up these 8 tips to eliminate relationship problems and strengthen the loving bond with your partner.

To incredible love,
Dr. Carmen Harra

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/8-big-relationship-dos-and-donts_b_9783280.html

Sujud Syukur

Assalamualaikum.. 

Dah lama betul Farha tak update blog.. Dah empat tahun rasanya..

InsyaAllah kali ni cuma nak berkongsi macam mana cara buat sujud Syukur.. yang Farha baca.. sebelum ni pun tak tahu juga.. Jadi.... jom kita sama2 baca cari ilmu ok.. :)

Penulis: Muhammad Abduh Tuasikal, ST, MSc

Sujud syukur adalah sujud yang dilakukan oleh seseorang ketika mendapatkan nikmat atau ketika selamat dari bencana.

Dalil disyari’atkannya sujud syukur adalah,

عَنْ أَبِى بَكْرَةَ عَنِ النَّبِىِّ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- أَنَّهُ كَانَ إِذَا جَاءَهُ أَمْرُ سُرُورٍ أَوْ بُشِّرَ بِهِ خَرَّ سَاجِدًا شَاكِرًا لِلَّهِ.

Dari Abu Bakroh, dari Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, iaitu ketika beliau mendapati hal yang menggembirakan atau dikabarkan berita gembira, beliau tersungkur untuk sujud pada Allah Ta’ala. (HR. Abu Daud no. 2774. Syaikh Al Albani mengatakan bahwa hadits ini shahih)

Juga dari hadits Ka’ab bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Al Bukhari di mana ketika diberitahu bahwa taubat Ka’ab diterima, beliau pun tersungkur untuk bersujud (iaitu sujud syukur).

Hukum Sujud Syukur

Sujud syukur itu disunnahkan ketika ada sebabnya. Inilah pendapat ulama Syafi’iyah dan Hambali.
Sebab Adanya Sujud Syukur

Sujud syukur itu ada ketika mendapatkan nikmat yang besar. Contohnya adalah ketika seseorang baru dikarunia anak oleh Allah setelah dalam waktu yang lama menanti. Sujud syukur juga disyariatkan ketika selamat dari musibah seperti ketika sembuh dari sakit, menemukan barang yang hilang, atau diri dan hartanya selamat dari kebakaran atau dari tenggelam. Atau boleh jadi pula sujud syukur itu ada ketika seseorang melihat orang yang tertimpa musibah atau melihat ahli maksiat, ia bersyukur kerana selamat dari hal-hal tersebut.

Ulama Syafi’iyah dan Hambali menegaskan bahwa sujud syukur disunnahkan ketika mendapatkan nikmat dan selamat dari musibah yang sifatnya khusus pada individu atau dialami oleh kebanyakan kaum muslimin seperti selamat dari musuh atau selamat dari wabah.
Bagaimana Jika Mendapatkan Nikmat yang Sifatnya Terus Menerus?

Ulama Syafi’iyah dan ulama Hambali berpendapat, “Tidak disyari’atkan (disunnahkan) untuk sujud syukur kerana mendapatkan nikmat yang sifatnya terus menerus yang tidak pernah terputus.”

Kerana tentu saja orang yang sehat akan mendapatkan nikmat bernafas, maka tidak perlu ada sujud syukur sehabis shalat. Nikmat tersebut didapati setiap saat selama nyawa masih dikandung badan. Lebih pantasnya sujud syukur dilakukan setiap kali bernafas. Namun tidak mungkin ada yang melakukannya.

Syarat Sujud Syukur

Sujud syukur tidak disyaratkan menghadap kiblat, juga tidak disyaratkan dalam keadaan suci kerana sujud syukur bukanlah shalat. Namun hal-hal tadi hanyalah disunnahkan saja dan bukan syarat. Demikian pendapat yang dianut oleh Ibnu Taimiyah rahimahullah yang menyelisihi pendapat ulama madzhab.

Tatacara Sujud Syukur

Tata caranya adalah seperti sujud tilawah. Iaitu dengan sekali sujud. Ketika akan sujud hendaklah dalam keadaan suci, menghadap kiblat, lalu bertakbir, kemudian melakukan sekali sujud. Saat sujud, bacaan yang dibaca adalah seperti bacaan ketika sujud dalam shalat. Kemudian setelah itu bertakbir kembali dan mengangkat kepala. Setelah sujud tidak ada salam dan tidak ada tasyahud.

Semoga bermanfaat. Wallahu waliyyut taufiq.


Selesai disusun di Panggang, Gunungkidul, 23 Jumadats Tsaniyyah 1436 H di sore hari ba’da Ashar

Sumber: https://muslim.or.id/25259-panduan-sujud-tilawah-dan-sujud-syukur.html